How to Piss Off The Akatsuki
by Daaviiee
Summary: Sakura has joined the Akatsuki for a year now and she is getting bored. Then she  stumbles upon an article 'How to Piss Off The Akatsuki'. This is going to be one hell of a fun.
1. 120

How to Piss Off the Akutsuki

Akutsuki Sakura drummed her nails onto the computer desk looking at the blank computer screen. Yeah, she joined the Akutsuki a year ago and nothing interesting went on. It all started with beating up Naruto, kidnapping her, and needing a medic. She searched through the internet when something came across. It was an article about "How to Piss Off the Akutsuki". Sakura grinned deviously and started read through the article. Let the fun begin.

**Mistake Deidara as a female friend of yours.**

"Hey Ino! Wait up!" Sakura yelled running to Deidara. Deidara turned around and gave her a confused look.

"I'm not Ino, Sakura, un".

"Oops I thought you were a girl that I knew. Bye!"

"SAKURA!" Sakura vanished through the hallway.

**Sell 'Tobi' thinking he is a lollipop.**

"That would be one dollar little girl," Sakura handed Tobi to the little girl who gave the dollar to Sakura.

"SAKURA!"

"See you later Lollipop!"

**Put a magnet next to Pein's piercings. If questioned say "I thought you were magnetic"**

"Sakura, why are you holding a magnet next to me?" Pein asked while glaring at the magnet.

"I thought you were magnetic," Sakura shrugged while skipping off to her room.

**Look at the wall when someone's talking to you and if someone asks if you heard, say "Can you repeat that?"**

"So we are going to have to catch the nine-tailed demon…" awhile later.. "Sakura did you hear me" Pein asked while looking at me.

"Wait huh? Can you repeat that?" Sakura gave the puppy eyed look that no one can resist.

"Okay, as I was saying.."

"Sakura!" the others groaned.

**Ask Kakuzu for money and pretend to eat it.**

"Can I have a dollar, Kakuzu?" Kakuzu handed her a dollar. She crumpled it up and pretend to eat it.

"Why? Why?" Kakuzu bawled at the loss of his dollar. Sakura ran away as soon as possible. "SAKURA!"

**If Hidan calls you a bitch, call him a man-whore.**

"Bitch," Hidan cursed at Sakura.

"Man-whore," Sakura smirked and ran off. Hidan was shocked with his mouth open, but shut it angrily.

"SAKURA!"

**Mistake another plant for Zetsu in front of him.**

"Hello, Zetsu. Nice evening isn't it," Sakura greeted a plant in front of Zetsu. Zetsu's left eye twitch.

"You **better freaking **run," Zetsu growled and Sakura took off with Zetsu close behind.

**When Konan cooks, say, "I think my food just moved".**

Konan made meatloaf and each had a plate. Sakura poked her meatloaf suspiciously. "Is there something wrong, Sakura?" Itachi asked.

"Yeah, I think my food just moved," Sakura pointed and the others laughed and Konan blushed in embarrassment. Suddenly the meatloaf growled and we gulped and ran out of the kitchen.

**Watch in a scary movie with 3-D glasses, and if an Akutsuki come in front of you, scream.**

Sakura was watching Paranormal Activity 2 with 3-D glasses when Kisame came in front of her at a scary spot.

"Hey Sakura, watcha doing can I watch too?" Kisame asked as he heard banging from the movie.

"!" BANG! Sakura had screamed and hit Kisame with shovel that she got out of nowhere. Kisame was knocked out unconscious. Sakura went up and paused the movie when someone came behind Sakura.

"What happened to Kisame?" 'Tobi'/Madara asked while patting Sakura on the shoulder.

"!" Sakura whacked 'Tobi'/Madara on the head making him unconscious too. Sakura tiptoed to her room with her shovel in hand.

**Backhand Itachi if he doesn't listen to you.**

"And then the mouse scurried under my bed and I tried to kill it…" Itachi put on his earphones and started to listen to music. Sakura saw this and backhanded Itachi on the back of the head. Itachi pulled out his earphones and glared at Sakura.

"Why did you do that?"

"You weren't listening to me".

"SAKURA!" in her place is a stuffed panda with a heart.

**Put super glue on the inside of Sasori's doorknob.**

"!" everybody ran to the source. It led to Sasori's room and they barged in.

"Where the hell are you?" Hidan yelled while scanning the room.

"Right here," a muffled sound came from behind the door. They pulled the door and saw Sasori's hand on the doorknob.

"What happened?" Konan asked while trying to pull Sasori (He's human now).

"Someone put super glue on the doorknob," Sasori replied with venom.

"I think I know who it is, un," everyone stared at me and I just took off.

"SAKURA!"

**While at the pool with the Akutsuki and Kisame comes swimming towards you and talks, run away screaming," Holy Shit! The shark talks!"**

"Hey, Sakura," Kisame greeted while swimming towards her with a toothy grin.

"!" Sakura screamed while running away. "Holy Shit! The shark talks!" everyone burst out laughing while Kisame went to sulk in a dark corner.

**Switch Kisame's sake with water and water with sake.**

"This water taste funny, un," Deidara said while drinking a little more. The others started to drink the water while Kisame and Sakura were drinking the water-filled sake.

2 hours later..

"Let's this freaking party started!" Hidan yelled slurring his words. Everyone danced and they passed out on the ground.

**If having a staring contest with Sasori, call him Pinocchio while doing it.**

Stare. Stare. Glare. Stare. Smirk. O.o.

"Pinocchio," Blinks. "I win"

"SAKURA!"

**Scream and cry in your room at night and say that you had a nightmare where Kisame was trying to kill her with a chainsaw.**

"WAAAH!WAHHH!," Sakura bawled and the others came in the room, but Kisame.

"What's wrong?" Pein asked alarmed, eyes filled with worry.

"I.. had.. a nightmare where… Kisame was trying… to kill me.. with a chainsaw," Sakura choked out.

"Where's the person that her our cherry blossom?" Kisame demanded while holding a chainsaw that was on. Sakura cried and screamed louder and the others glared at Kisame. "What?" the others started beating the crap out of Kisame.

**Call the Akutsuki to kill the game 'Sonic Unleased'.**

"Akutsuki!"

"What is the emergency, Sakura?" Itachi asked.

"Kill-wham- this-wham- game-wham- for me," Sakura said in between hit. The others fell anime style, but Sasori, Itachi, Zetsu, and Pein anime sweatdropped.

**Put Deidara's clay in Hidan's room and replace it with play dough.**

"What happened to you?" Sasori asked to Deidara.

"Someone replaced my clay with play dough".

"Why the fuck is pansy's clay in my room?"

"SAKURA!"

"Not my fault!"

**Call Itachi to say the word 'why' in a book and to tell him to say the word.**

"Itachi!" Sakura yelled while not looking up at the book.

"Yes?"

"Can you say this word?" points at the word in the book.

"'Why'"

"Because I want to know".

"'Why'"

"I already told you".

"'Why'"

"Damn it Itachi! I already told you!"

"Just forget it," Itachi muttered and sweatdropped.

**Put 'Art is a bang' on Sasori's face.**

Sasori woke up went into the bathroom. He looked at shocked and his mouth was open. On his forehead in black marker was 'Art is a bang'.

"Deidara!" BOOM!

"It wasn't me Sasori no Danna, un!"

**Eat a salad in front of Zetsu and ask if he wants some.**

Munch. . Swallows. "What are you eating?"

"Salad. Wants some?"

"My precious plants!"

"Do you want some?"

"SAKURA!"

**A/N:**

**I know I have another story on hold, but I was reading and an idea popped into my mind. Plus this is for the New Year so yeah. I'm going to school later so sorry if I don't update this and Super Nerd Gone Super Bad. Please review and read more!**

**-IINSANEG**


	2. 21 40

How to Piss Off the Akutsuki

21-40

**21. Paint Deidara's and Hidan's room hot pink.**

"Who painted my room pink,un!"

"What the fuck! Who did this?"

"SAKURA!"

"I didn't do it!"

**22. Get Kisame drunk and sing 'Shots' by Lil Jon with him.**

"Kisame here's a bottle of sake".

"Hey thanks pinky".

1 hour later…

"If you ain't taking shots, get the fuck out the club…."

Sakura and Kisame pushed the other Akutsuki out of the place and into the forest.

**23. Put Hidan's bed in the pool.**

"Okay ready let's go," One of the Sakura clones whispered.

"ZZZZ," Hidan snored.

"Set it right there and push a little".

"Retreat".

Next morning…

SPLASH!

"SAKURA!"

"HAHAHA!"

"You better run pinky!"

**24. While staring at Pein's eyes, say "Purple is gay".**

"Sakura, what are you staring at?"

"…"

"Sakura?"

"Purple is gay".

"SAKURA!"

"Sayonara!"

**25. Put baby oil on the floor of Konan's hallway.**

"!" Scream. Crash. Streams of curses. The Akutsuki ran to Konan who was at the end of the hallway on the ground, with things broken.

"That was so- !" Everyone slipped and slid to Konan, except Sakura who just stood there laughing, colliding into each other.

"SAKURA!"

**26. Tackle Kakuzu and Zetsu yelling "HUMAN SHIELD"**

"Zetsu! Kakuzu!" they turned to the source, but was tackled and pushed to the wall by 5 Sakura clones. "HUMAN SHIELD!"

"What the **hell**?"

"'Human Shield'?"

**27. Dress in a bunny costume and throw eggs at the Akutsuki.**

"".

"Sakura, why are you in a bunny costume with a basket?" Itachi asked with curiosity. The other Akutsuki members stared at her. Sakura started throwing eggs with deadly accuracy at the members.

"!" they screamed as they tried to block the eggs.

"HAPPY EASTER!" Sakura yelled and hopped away laughing evilly.

**28. Put a hungry cat in Kisame's closet.**

"Okay kitty, go into the closet".

"Meow".

"Ta ta".

3 days later…

"I'll be right there, Itachi! Just gotta get my coat".

"MEOW!"

"AHH! GET THIS CAT OFF OF ME! I'm not seafood-oh wait I am. Help!"

"Tobi will help fishy-chan! OW the kitty just bit Tobi!"

**29. Lick 'Tobi's' mask thinking it is a real 'lollipop'.**

Lick. Disgusted look.

"Sakura-chan, why did you lick Tobi's mask?"

"I thought you were a lollipop".

**30. Spray a weed killer spray on Zetsu.**

"Why the **hell** are you spraying me with **this freaking weed killer** spray, Sakura?"

"I needed to kill an unwanted plant around here".

"SAKURA!"

"See you later weed!"

**31. Push Itachi down the stairs and say "Oops"**

"Sakura, what are you up to- AHH!" BAM. BAM. BAM. GROANS.

"OOPS!"

"SAKURA" groans in pain.

**32. Put pig hoofprints with mud all over the walls and ceiling while singing the 'spiderpig' theme song.**

"Spiderpig. Spiderpig. Spiderpig.."

"What did you just do to the living room!" Konan shrieked and the others looked shocked.

"SPIDERPIG!" Sakura yelled and flipped, doing a pose.

**33. Put one of Sasori's puppet in his shower.**

Sasori woke up and went straight to his shower. He stripped off his clothes and moved the curtains when he saw his puppet all of a sudden. "!" Sasori almost had a heart attack at this. "SAKURA!"

**34. Dress up in a panda costume and walk around with a real panda.**

WADDLE. WADDLE.

"Why are you in a panda suit,un?"

"No reason".

"Is that a panda?"

"Yup". Growl. "Quiet Bon Bon".

"I'm so going to sacrifice it to Jashin".

"Run for your life Bon Bon! AHH!"

"Should we save pinky and 'Bon Bon'?"

"Maybe later".

**35. Dig a ditch in front of Konan's and Pein's room.**

Doors open. Step- Bam!

"Why is there a ditch here?" Pein yelled while sitting up straight.

"Ow that hurt!"

"I think I know who did this".

"Right on it. SAKURA!"

**36. Play with a paddleball and say it's a weapon while hitting them.**

"Why do you have a paddle?" Kisame asked.

"It's a weapon".

"No it isn't".

"Yes it is".

"Prove it". BAM!

"It is a weapon. There's your proof."

**37. Switch Hidan's shampoo with hot red hair dye.**

"!"Hidan screamed.

"Haha you look like a freaking tomato!" Konan burst out laughing and fell on the floor.

"That is just disturbing," Sasori muttered and shook his head.

"PINKY!"

"Sakura has just left the building," Sakura yelled.

**38. Chant the Barney song in a dinosaur costume in front of the Akutsuki.**

"I love you. You love me.." Sakura chanted and swayed, waving her hands in the air.

"I thought dinosaurs were extinct,un!"

"Kill her!" Hidan screamed and lunged to Sakura with his scythe. Sakura waited until the last moment and hit him with a baseball bat that she got out of thin air.

**39. Tape a 20 dollar bill in the back of Tobi's back.**

"Hi, Tobi!" Sakura greeted and gave him a big hug while taping a bill on his back.

"Hi, Sakura-chan!"

"Well gotta go! See ya!" Sakura walked off as Kakuzu came in front of Sakura.

"Give me that money, Tobi!" Kakuzu tackled Tobi to the ground.

"Kakuzu, get off of Tobi," Tobi started flailing his legs and arms wildly.

**40. Try to burn Sasori saying, "I know you're still a puppet!" while chasing him down.**

"Brat, why are you chasing me with a flamethrower?"

"You better run, Pinocchio!".

"Get the hell away from me!"

"I know you're still a puppet, Sasori!"

**A/N:**

** Happy New Years! Sorry I was kinda late. My brother wouldn't give me the laptop so like yeah. And I was hyper on this chapter because I ate donuts… Review please and thanks to the people who reviewed!**

**-IINSANEG**


	3. 41 to 60

How to Piss Off the Akutsuki

41-60

**41. Wear Konan's bra over your head and her coat as a cape.**

"Sakura, give me that back!" Konan shrieked with anger.

"Never! Muahahaha!" Sakura yelled while taking off.

**42. While running away yell, "SUPERMAN" and punch one of the Akutsuki you pass by.**

Kisame was walking down Konan's hallway when he heard light, but fast footsteps. He stopped in the middle and watched for the thing to come. Sakura spotted Kisame and got ready by doing the flying pose, with one arm in front s fist and the other next to her side.

"Pinky, why the hell are you wearing Konan's bra on your head?"

"SUPERMAN!" Sakura punched Kisame in the abdomen and he crumpled in pain. Sakura took off down the hallway with Konan who just glanced at the injured Kisame.

**43. Fill the kitchen cabinets with skittles.**

Sakura sat at the dining table and watched for her next victim. Kakuzu walked to the kitchen cabinets and opened one very big one. Then all of a sudden, a wave of colorful skittles poured out of the cabinet and consumed Kakuzu.

"SAKURA!" a muffled voice yelled from the skittles.

"Taste the rainbow!" Sakura stood on the table and gave a thumbs up.

**44. Talk backwards to Pein.**

"Sakura, I need a favor".

"Need you do what?"

"What?"

"Need you do what said I".

"Stop talking backwards."

"Backwards talking not I'm".

"Yes you are".

"Not I'm no".

"Nevermind".

"Ya see!"

**45. Put soap and water on the kitchen floors.**

...

"WHO THE HELL DID THIS!" Hidan yelled. The others had their thinking face on. Then a lightbulb went off and Pein snapped their fingers.

"Naruto".

"Ahhh" the others nodded while Sakura just sweatdropped.

**46. Take a picture of Deidara and use it as a dart board.**

Click. Snap. Sakura ran off to her room to print up the picture. Deidara just looked at her confused.

1 day later….

"Sakura, can I see what you did to my picture?"

"Sure," Sakura pointed to a picture with darts on it. More specifically was a picture of him with a dart on his nose.

"SAKURA!"

"Tehee".

**47. When Kakuzu is counting his money, yell out random numbers.**

"..59, 60, 61, 62-"

"72!"

"Shut up. 63, 64-"

"57! 81!"

"65,"

"99!"

"99- argh SAKURA!"

**48. Put make up on Sasori's puppet.**

"Why does my puppets have make up on them?"

"Because they're dolls, Pinocchio!"

"They are not dolls! They are puppets!"

"Dolls!"

"Pinocchio!"

"Don't call me that, brat!"

**49. Put blue chlorine dye in the pool.**

The Akutsuki were in the pool all at the same time diving down, except Sakura who was tanning, and then they came out of the water.

"!" Konan screamed very loud and Sakura opened one eye with a smirk. The others were blue, except Kisame who was already blue, they had mouts open and were gaping like a fish.

"Now you look like Kisame's family," Sakura retorted with a snort.

"GET HER!" Tobi yelled and they agreed while running to her. Sakura started running off.

**50. Glue the furniture to the ceiling and sit upside down on the couch.**

Sakura used her chakra to stay upside down on the couch. The others came in with confusion on their faces, but then looked up.

"Why is the furniture up there?" Itachi asked.

"Why are you upside down?" Kakuzu asked.

"No, the question is why are you all upside down," Sakura crossed her arms and they anime-dropped.

**51. At dinner, throw a pie at Itachi when he is eating his dango.**

Itachi was happily eating his dango with his eyes closed and Sakura took this as a opportunity. She picked up a pie from under the table out of nowhere (is she a freaking magician!) and aimed it at Itachi. Itachi was so oblivious that he kept eating. Sakura threw it and it hit him. Everyone stopped what they were doing as Itachi wiped away the pie angrily.

"Who threw it?"

"It was Hidan!"

"What! Hell no! Don't listen to that little pink-haired b-" Hidan was hit with a pan and he fell unconscious.

"Well that was… weird,un".

**52. Walk on the ceiling and say to the Akutsuki and say, "You look so retarded like this"**

"Pinky, why are you upside down again?" the others looked at her strangely.

"You guys just look so retarded like this," Sakura shrugged and left before hell broke loose.

**53. Give a card to Itachi that punched the face when open.**

"Itachi, I wanted to give this to you for an apology".

"Hn. 'Itachi, I am sorry for doing this, but it's going to be hilarious.' What the hell does that-" BAM! A punching glove came out and did an uppercut on Itachi who flew a few feet back. He hit the wall and grunted in pain.

**54. Bring in pigs to trample on Zetsu's garden.**

Squeal. Snort. Giggle from Sakura. The pigs had trampled and eaten Zetsu's plants.

"My Secret Garden! I'm going to **kill you, Haruno!**"

"EEEP!"

**55. Trap 'Tobi' and Deidara in Deidara's room.**

"Where are we going Sakura-chan"

"Don't ask Tobi".

"Are we there yet?"

"Not yet Tobi".

"Are we there yet?"

"Not yet Tobi!"

"Are we there-"

"Yes now go!" Sakura pushed Tobi into Deidara's room who fell on Deidara. Sakura locked the door and put a sealing jutsu on the room.

"Deidara-sempai, give Tobi a hug. Tobi is a good boy!"

"Get away from me Tobi,un".

"No Tobi is a good boy!"

"Ahhh! The door is locked. SAKURA!"

"SEMPAI! "Shut the hell up Tobi,un!" Smack.

"Ow that hurt, sempai!"

**56. Put speakers in the air vents.**

The air vents were big enough for Sakura to fit in so it took at least an hour for Sakura to set up the speakers in the air vents. Sakura let out a evil, yet quiet, laugh.

**57. Play the 'Peanut Butter Jelly Time' song on the speakers.**

_It's peanut butter jelly time. It's peanut butter jelly time._

"AHHH! What the fuck is this!"

"Where is it coming from?"

"Turn it off!"

"SAKURA!"

"It's peanut butter jelly time!-" Sakura was singing and dancing in a banana suit with maracas.

"Shut up!"

**58. Save a seat for your imaginary friend at the dining table.**

Sasori was about to sit next to Sakura when she stopped him.

"It's reserved".

"Why it's my seat."

"My friend is sitting there".

"Where I don't see your friend".

"He's sitting there right now. His name is Ryu-kun!"

"You are weird," Sasori muttered before e sat down.

"No you sat on Ryu-kun!" Sakura wailed and pushed Sasori off the seat. The others just snickered at Sakura's action.

**59. Hug an emo (Itachi)**

"Weasel-kun!" Sakura squealed while giving a bear hug to Itachi. Itachi started gasping for air.'

"Sakura, can't breathe!" Itachi wheezed out. Sakura let go of Itachi who started coughing at the lack of oxygen.

"Hehe oops my bad," Sakura smile innocently.

"O_o"

**60. Ask what gender Deidara is.**

"Deidara?" Sakura asked while Deidara was sipping on coffee.

"Hm?"

"What gender are you?" Deidara spitted out his coffee in shock.

"W-What,un?"

"I don't repeat".

"Why would you ask that,yeah?"

"Because you straight gay of just a girl in disguise".

"That's it! I'm going to kill you,un!"

"RAPE!" the other Akutsuki barged in and tackled Deidara down. While they were restraining Deidara, Sakura stuck out her tongue and snuck away. Deidara growled at this and struggled more.

**A/N:**

**Sorry I couldn't update yesterday. I went to the store and bought a lot of food. And I'm not fat, somehow I still way around 70 pounds. 0_o don't give me that look. And we had to find my mom's keys. Bummer so I've finished my tons of h/w and I'm updating. Thnx to the people who reviewed! I love you guys. Well not that way lol jk. Well hope you enjoyed the story!**

**-IINSANEG**


	4. 61 to 80

**A/N:**

** I'm sorrie for the delay, but I had school and I was trying to ace my class including Spanish. I'm in middle school okay. I'm so pissed! I do a daily checkup of reviews and I had two new one. One was o name is Chansoriya Sim and she is the meanest asian girl i ever known. She lied to me, called me names, etc.**

** This is what she said," It is the worst thing in history". I worked hella hard over the break to do this story. Well she can hate all she want cuz "Haterz hate on me!". review if you hate her comment and believe my statement. Okay on with the *makes pissed off look* maybe 'worst thing in history' story. :(.**

How to Piss Off the Akutsuki

61- 80

**61. Spray lemon in Hidan's eyes and slam a large book on his hands.**

Hidan was cleaning his scythe when Sakura came in with a lemon and large book. "Hidan!"

"What, Pinky?"

"Put your hands on the table".

"Why?"

"Just do it."

"Fine, bitch". Sakura squeezed the lemon juice in Hidan's eyes and slammed the book hard on his hands. Hidan started screaming in pain and caressed his hands. Sakura laughed uncontrollably and exit the room.

**62. While everyone is quiet in the meeting room, scream.**

Everything was quiet. Too quiet.

"!" the others screamed as well at the sudden sound and a few fell out of their chairs.

"Sakura, why did you just do that?" Pein asked.

"I wanted to act out my play".

"SAKURA!"

**63. While out with the Akutsuki, wander off and throw a football at Kisame.**

"Where did Sakura go, un?"

"I don't know". SWISH. BAM!

"AHH! My family jewels!

"HAHAH! That was hella perfect aim!  
"Good one, Sakura!"

**64. Put clear tape on the outside of Sasori's door.**

Sasori was in his room working on his puppet when his stomach growled from hunger. Sasori sighed and walked towards the door. He opened the door and tried to pass the door when a sticky substance plasticy thing caught him. He struggled to get free and finally suceeded.

"I wonder who did this," Sasori snapped sarcastically before stalking off to his victim.

"Sakura!"

"Get away from me Sasori!"

"I'm going to kill you!"

"!"

**65. Wear you pants and shirt backwards.**

"Sakura?" Konan questioned.

"Hm?"

"Why are you wearing your clothes backward?"\

"Oh this. It's the new style. Everyone wears their clothes like this!"

"OMG! I'm going to do it too!" Sakura sweatdropped.

**66. Do the opposite things people tell you to do.**

"Sakura, go clean the kitchen".

"Okeydokey, Leader-sama!"

Awhile later...

"AHH! The kitchen!"

"SAKURA!"

**67. Talk in a robotic voice.**

"Pinky, can you give me a hand".

"Of course, Fishy-chan," Sakura said in a robotic monotone voice.

'Why are you talking like that?"

"Like what?"

"That".

"I don't know what you mean".

"You know what just forget it!"

"Okay, fishy-chan".

"Don't call me that".

"...Fishy-chan".

"SAKURA!"

**68. Act like tarzan and swing on a rope. Tackle an Akutsuki.**

"AHHHH!" Sakura was swinging on a rope and her next victim was in front of her. It was Kakuzu. Sakura let go of the rope and was suspended in mid-air. Then in one second, she collided with Kakuzu and they rolled on the cement floor.

"What the hell! My money!"

**69. Dress up as a clown.**

Sakura waddled her way to the others who were watching a movie. Sakura blocked the T.V. and the others stared at her with a weird expression.

"AHHH! Clown is going to kill Tobi!" Tobi screamed dramatically and Sakura squeezed the red thing on her nose and Tobi ran for his life.

"We are so going to use you to make Tobi shut up," Deidara said. He didn't say 'un'! "Un" too late.

**70. Pretend to electrocute yourself on a light switch.**

"Okay I think I fixed it. Just let me twist this- !" Sakura pretended to twitch uncontrollably. The others screamed and fainted (it was only Deidara, Kakuzu, and Tobi). Sakura stopped and giggled. "That was hella funny".

**71. Sneak into Tobi's room and blow a airhorn in his ear.**

...ERRRRRRR! Tobi screamed from the sound and fell of his bed. He landed on the ground face first. Sakura started laughing and clutched her stomach from the pain.

"You better run, Sakura-chan," Tobi threatened in a low, but dangerous voice. Sakura gulped and ran out in a flash.

**72. Fake a fart with a whoopie cushion and blame it on Kisame.**

Sakura sat next to Kisame and the cushion let out a long and loud fart. She abruptly stood up and pinched her nose. "Damn, Kisame! Couldn't you hold it in? It stinks!'

"I didn't-"

"KISAME!" the others roared and kicked him out of the base.

**73. Put a computer prank on Pein's computer.**

As Pein was logging in his computer. It went to his homescreen and then gunshots were heard loudly. Pein flew out his chair and fell to the ground. He frantically scrambled to hide.

"HAHAH! Leader-sama just got PWNED!"

"SAKURA!"

**74. Place a bucket of water on Konan's door.**

"EEEP!" Ice cold water had soaken Konan dripping wet from head to toe. Her teeth started clattering together and the boys ran to the source, but burst out laughing. More like ROFL.

"It's not funny!" Konan shrieked and went back into her room. The boys just kept laughing on the grounds. Sakura was around the corner and just giggled to herself.

**75. Rob Kakuzu's money and give it to Hidan.**

"Here Hidan! This is my lifesavings".

"Thanks Pink Bitch!"

One moment later...

"Who stole my money!" Kakuzu roared in anger.

"Hidan took it!" Sakura yelled.

"What? Why you fucking li-"

"HIDAN!"

**76. Ride in a tricycle around the base with stunna shades.**

The Akutsuki stared at Sakura as she rode around the base with big stunna shades. Sakura gave them a smirk and nodded her head while riding off. o_O.

**77. Switch the channels when someone is watching T.V.**

Zetsu was watching some Animal Planet show about plants when Sakura came up next to the T.V. Sakura switched the channel to 1,000 ways to die. Zetsu gave a pissed off expression and use the remote to change the channel.

Click.

Click.

Click.

Click. Click. Click.

"You know what I'll **show you 1,000 ways to die**, Sakura," Zetsu glared at bolted to Sakura who ran off with Zetsu trailing behind her.

**78. Rollerskate while smacking the guys.**

away from Itachi. Smack. Skates away from Tobi. Smack. Smack. Skates frantically away from shocked Hidan and Kakuzu. Smack. Trip. Screams while being dragged by Sasori. Pulls Deidara by the ankle making him fall to the ground.

**79. Give Tic-Tac to Deidara when talking to him.**

"Art is a bang, yeah!"

"Really!"

"Yeah because I think art should be seen for a moment and then- why are you giving me this,un?"

"Your breathing is hella kicking. I would've gave you gum, but I got none on me".

"SAKURA!" Deidara yelled flushed.

**80. Give a fake scratchcard to Kakuzu.**

"Here I bought the lottery for you".

"I bet you I will win".

"Okay".

"10,000. 10,000. OMG! 10,000! I won 10,000 dollars!"

"Read the back".

"'this scratchcard is not real. It's just for the fun of it'. SAKURA!"

**A/N:**

** Hope you review and stuff. I don't want a dumbass review from you know who. I got nothing else to say because I'm still pissed. Yeah so like that's all. **

**-IINSANEG**


	5. 81 to 100

**A/N:**

**Sorrie I was late. I accidentally fell asleep in the car with my ipod touch on listening to Wedding Dress by Tae Yang, mouth open. Then I heard my sister say something and I woke up not feeling breathing from my nose. I never slept like that so I was so embarrassed! Anyway some complication with Chansoriya. Yeah… I think she is jealous because I am a better and closer friend to my bestie Kiryn! (Always be my bestie Kiryn!) So no review from you know who.**

**For the next chapter I want to know who wants who to join Sakura to do who her schemes with her. I got the best idea from this person name AnimeLover. Thank you! So hope you enjoy the story.**

How to Piss Off the Akutsuki

81-100

**81. Tackle anyone who mentions 'Tacos'.**

"We are ordering from Taco Bell. Anyone want something like I don't know, tacos?" Kisame yelled. Sakura heard this and lunged to Kisame.

"TACOS!" Sakura tackled Kisame to the ground and Kisame hissed in pain.

"Sakura, what the heck are you doing?"

"TACOS!"

"Fine I'll get tacos for you".

"SHANNARO!"

**82. Paint your eyelids like eyes and sleep when someone is talking to you.**

"Okay and then you just create these handsigns….." Sakura was lightly snoring with her eyelids painted while Pein was talking to her. After about 10 minutes Pein finally noticed. He snapped his fingers and Sakura came out of her slumber.

"Huh? Wha?" Sakura said still dazed.

"SAKURA!"

**83. Hit Hidan everytime he curses.**

"Stop annoying me you fucking bitch! Ow! Why the fuck are you hitting-Ow!"

"Shut the hell up!"

"No fucking way- ow!"

"…"

"Can you stop fucking mess with me, bitch?-Ow quit it!"

"Do me a favor then".

"What?"

"Stop cussing".

"For how fucking- Ow I mean for how long?"

"Just for the week".

"Fine," Hidan mumbled and walked away, but then Sakura heard him mutter a curse word. Sakura threw a pillow at his head real hard.

"I heard that!"

**84. Pretend to practice numb-chucks.**

Sakura was practicing numb-chucks. She moved it to the left then right, but she threw it behind her back and then a second later there was a bang.

"OW!" Deidara yelped in pain.

"My bad!"

"SAKURA!"

**85. Pepper-spray Zetsu's eyes.**

"Hey Sakura, can you help me with my-"

"!" Sakura turned around and peppered-spray his eyes.

"**AHH! My damn eyes. It burns damn you! **Sakura, why did you do that?"

"You freaking scared me!"

"I'm so **getting revenge** on you".

"KYA!"

**86. Taser Sasori in the neck.**

Sakura snuck up behind Sasori like a cat and held the taser to his neck. He didn't seeem to notice and then she tasered him. He shook with pain, still not used to the human body. Sakura stopped and Sasori fell to the ground unconscious.

**87. Water the inside training grounds and lower the room temperature.**

"Why is it so cold in here, un?" Deidara shivered and brought his cloak closer to his body.

"Don't know, but it is- WOAH!" Kakuzu slid and the rest slipped and fell to the ground abruptly. The training grounds was all silver and white. You could just see your breath from the temperature of the room.

"What the hell?" Pein gazed around and saw a flash of pink.

"I think I know who it is," Itachi muttered calmly.

"SAKURA!" Hidan and the others yelled making the place shake all around, causing snow to fall upon them.

**88. Let a chicken loose in the base.**

"Catch that chicken!"

"Argh! It pecked me!"

"Stop acting like a wimp, Hidan! OW it pecked my hand too!"

"It's dinner for us!"

"Stop thinking about food, Kisame!"

"Tobi is a good boy!"

"Shut the hell up Tobi, un!"

"DINNER!"

**89. Dance with a person in a dinosaur costume!**

Sakura started to dance with Tobi who was in a dinosaur costume. He hit all of the Akutsuki members in the face with his humongous tail of his. They were actually angry so they started to gang up on him. Poor Tobi. He was actually a good boy.

**90. Ride a mini go-kart around the base.**

"Hahah I'm so kicking your butt!"

"Not if I can help it, un".

"I'm almost winning!"

"What are you guys doing!" Pein roared in anger.

"Racing of course!" they both answered except Deidara added a 'yeah' at the end.

"Just… never mind," Pein muttered and walked away.

**91. While driving, honk and wave at them.**

Honk. Honk. Waves to Itachi and drives away. Honk! Waves at Konan. HOOONNNKKK! Flicks off Hidan and drive away from Hidan who is running to her with his sycthe. Runs over Kisame at the process. Hidan trips over Kisame and curses. Sakura laughs maniacally and drives off to her room.

**92. While someone is talking to you and make up an excuse why you don't want to talk to them.**

"You know you cheated with the race. You had a better engine, un!" Sakura started to walk away. "Where are you going?"

"Sorry, I don't talk to posers".

"O_o" Deidara looked at her stangely and tried to suppress his anger.

**93. Tell Pein you know his deepest darkest secret.**

"Leader-sama!"

"Hai?"

"I know your deepest darkest secret. If you don't wear all the Pokemon episodes with me, I'll tell everyone that you-" Pein had put a hand on her mouth and dragged her to the computer with him.

**94. Get Tobi Hyper with chocolate.**

"Tobi, eat this!"

"Okay!"

20 minutes later…

"Tobi is a good boy! Tobi is a good boy!"

"Shut up Tobi!" Hidan yelled frustrated. Sakura sat on the couch from the background.

"Deidara-sempai!"

"Get away from me Tobi, un!"

"You should get popcorn for this," Itachi muttered and sat down.

"I would, but I would miss all the fun".

"Make a shadow clone, stupid".

"Oh yeah!"

**95. Play Twister with the Akutsuki.**

The Akutsuki were having trouble staying up, except Sakura. Then Sakura got an idea. "I'll give any of you guys $50 if you fart right now," Sakura declared and she inwardly snickered. The others brightened up, except Itachi and Konan who stood up and walked away. Sakura stood up also as the guys let out each a fart. Sakura made a disgusted face and walked away.

"You guys are so disgusting," Sakura spat out and walked away. The guys were confused until Kakuzu bursted out.

"Damn it she was lying!" Kakuzu yelled.

"Well that was embarrassing," Sasori muttered and went to lock himself into his room.

**96. Pretend to be a vampire and bite Sasori.**

Sakura hid in the shadows of Sasori's room while Sasori was working on a puppet. (Does he even have a life. Oh wait he does) Sakura crept up on Sasori who didn't even notice. She bit her canines into his neck and blood seeped out a little. Sasori yelped and Sakura reteated and licked the blood from her lip.

"Sakura, why did you bite me?" Sasori questioned and grabbed his neck.

"I'm a vampire. You're going to a dead as soon as I'm done with you," Sakura snickered as Sasori fainted on his bed.

**97. Wax the kitchen floor.**

Konan was just skipping to the kitchen when all of a sudden she slipped and slid, hitting the cabinets. Things toppled over and Konan just groaned on the ground.

"SHANNARO!" Sakura yelled triumphantly.

"Sakura!" Konan growled in pain and tried to get up, but fell back down unconscious.

**98. When Hidan insults you, turn it into a compliment.**

"Hey you Bitch!"

" Why are you calling me a bitch when a bitch is a dog and dogs bark, bark is on trees, and trees are nature. Nature is beautiful so thanks for the compliments".

"That didn't make sense".

**99. Get a shut-up button.**

"Okay here's the plan. We go assassinate the person who is leaking out info on us-"

"_Shut up"._

"Excuse me"

"_Shut up"._

"Put that away Sakura".

"No".

"Then just-"

"_Shut up._ Tehee".

"SAKURA!" the others burst out laughing at the argument.

**100. Laugh at Deidara whenever he comes in sight.**

Deidara walked into the room and Sakura started to laugh. The others stared at her strangely, but just ignored it. The next time Deidara came in to the kitchen, Sakura was there and the others. She burst out laughing again. Deidara couldn't take it anymore.

"Why are you laughing, yeah?"

"You look…. like a…. freaking girl….!" Sakura was now being chased around by Deidara who was out to kill her.

**A/N:**

**Okay I want you guys to vote so who can help Sakura with the plans. I'm still sleepy so I'm gonna sleep or listen to music on my ipod. Ja ne!**

**-IINSANEG**


	6. AUTHOR'S NOTE!

**A/N:**

**I know this is not a chappie, but to do to the next chapter, I need to know who would join Sakura to help her with her schemes. So basically I'm too lazy to do a poll so just vote who would join her. Plus, I was thinking that I really want a lot of reviews so I'm trying to put a lot of chappies, but ideas will come slow. I lag a lot so sorrie! So need a lot of votes don't forget! Plz read my other story and review it too!**

**-IINSANEG**


	7. 101 to 118 or 120

**Okay I got a review from something about TOS and I couldn't do lists so I'm going to just put hints for you to figure out. I'm going to change this a bit so sorrie. Yeah I got reported so I am new so I have to follow the rules -sighs- Deidara won so YAY!**

**I don't own the Naruto characters, but the ideas!**

How to Piss Off the Akutsuki

101-120 (I tried)

Sakura snuck into Deidara's room late at night. The blonde was lightly snoring and drool was on his silk pillow. Sakura came next to his side and shook him awake. He jolted up and pinned Sakura to the bed. "What are you doing Sakura, yeah?" he asked as he released her.

"I need to ask you something" Sakura whispered and sat up on the bed.

"Yeah make it quick. It's still night so I need my sleep, un," Deidara muttered and rubbed his eyes.

"More like beauty sleep".

"What was that?"

"Nothing so I was wondering if you will help me with a little something".

"What is this 'little something', yeah?"

"Pissing off the Akutsuki".

"Oh so that was what you were doing, yeah! I thought you didn't like it here, un".

"No, but I just need help because it's getting harder to piss them off now.

"Fine, but how did you get this idea?" Deidara asked and Sakura led him to her room. She showed the list to Deidara and he smirked at most of them.

"So?"

"Start tomorrow when you're done piggy-backing Itachi, un. 'Night" Deidara went back to his room.

_Next day…_

"Weasel-kun!" Sakura squealed and hopped onto Itachi's back unexpected and Itachi almost fell down.

"Sakura, get off of me," Itachi said stoicly.

"No" Sakura deadpanned.

"Get off of me".

"No, not until you take me somewhere".

"Fine then get off."

"No you take me to town on your back".

"Fine". Mission accomplished. The next plan was for Deidara who liked to mess with the Sasori no Danna. Deidara walked up to him and Sasori looked up at him emotionless. Deidara picked up his hand to Sasori's face and flicked him in the nose real hard. Sasori flinched from the sudden pain. He glared real hard at Deidara who just grinned and walked away. Sasori started thinking up plans to torture the blonde he/she.

Sakura and Deidara were sneaking up behind Pein who was currently in meditating mode. They sent silent gestures to each other to proceed. They each came by his side and picked up a full, stinky trashcan. They used a little chakra to pick it up and then they silently counted to 3. Then the duo dumped the trashcan on top of their leader. One second it was on him then a second later they were thrown to the wall going through it. Pein was breathing heavily and a banana peel was on his head.

"Run for it!" Sakura yelled and disappeared. Deidara followed her actions and left the angry leader.

Sakura was practicing swing dancing (**A/N: I was the shortest person with the shortest dude and he did this to me. This making me push my friend a little, but her partner fell face first lol) **with Zetsu when Hidan came in the same room. Sakura led Zetsu to Hidan who was not noticing our presence. She shoved Zetsu to Hidan and yelled, "HUMAN SHIELD!". Zetsu accidentally lost his foot and collided with Hidan, who hit his head with the wall going unconscious. Sakura left giggling while Zetsu was still dazed from the impact.

Deidara got really annoyed with Tobi who kept saying, "Tobi is a good boy!". Luckily the next thing was supposed to be public. While Tobi kept chattering like a woodpecker pecking wood, Deidara poured apple juice next to Tobi.

"Tobi, why the hell did you piss on the floor, un?" Deidara asked/yelled getting all of the Akutsuki's attention. They had disgusted looks plastered on their faces.

"That is just plain disgusting," Konan sneered and walked away.

"But T-Tobi didn't d-do it!" Tobi stuttered.

"Tobi, just clean up your mess," Itachi muttered and continued reading his book. Sakura inwardly snickered at the embarrassment and Deidara shot her a wink.

Deidara fought Sakura by pinning her again down the bed and she reluctantly did. Deidara was about to sit down next to Kakuzu who was counting his money. Deidara was holding a cup of steaming hot coffee when he 'accidentally' spilled it. The brown liquid soaked the money and Kakuzu sat there mortified.

"DEIDARA!"

While Itachi was on a mission, Sakura and Deidara had snuck in Itachi's room with buckets of paint. They spent hours painting his room. When Itachi came back he had turned on his light and the room was hot pink. He thought it was a dream so he turned off the lights, but the pink turned to neon hot pink.

"Sakura!" Itachi twitched and stormed off to the cherry blossom.

Deidara and Sakura were eating their gummy bears slowly waiting for their next victim. As their target came in view they waited until his back was to them. As if on cue they started thowing the gummy bears. It stuck to him like glue and he tried to dodged, but most got stuck from Deidara's and Sakura's deadly accuracy. In defeat he ran off to his private bathroom. They did a victory dance and hi-fived at the end.

Sakura snuck up behind Konan who was walking casually down the hallway. As she got close enough she put her hand, holding a fake, bee, next to Konan's ear. Konan sensed this and turned, but then saw the bug. She screamed and fainted sprawled out like a eagle. Sakura stared for a minute and walked away to the blonde waiting for her.

Deidara really like the next idea and wanted to join. They both wore their Akutsuki cloaks and anbu-like masks. Paintball guns were hidden behind their cloaks as they entered Hidan's room.

"Why the eff are you effin here?" Hidan still couldn't cuss for a few more days from his favor to Sakura. Sakura looked at Deidara and he looked at her. They both nodded and took out the paintball guns and aimed. They started shooting at Hidan and multiple colors splattered his body."!" Hidan started screaming and they just laughed.

While Itachi had went to somewhere Sakura stole Itachi mp3 and deleted all his songs. She replaced it with all the Justin Bieber songs real quick and put back the mp3 where she found it. After she left Itachi picked up his mp3 and pressed play.

_Me plus you (I'ma tell you one time)_

_Me plus you (I'ma tell you one time)_

_Me plus you (I'ma tell you one time)_

"What the hell!" Itachi growled out and yanked out the earbuds out of his ears. He checked his songs and his anger increased.

"SAKURA! I KNOW YOU DID THIS!"

Zetsu was just walking to his private garden. He opened the door and the sight had shocked. "!" He screamed at the sight of his beloved garden. It was dead and had many weeds. He started mourning for his garden and screaming. Sakura dispelled the henge and the garden was at it's original condition and Sakura snuck out of the garden.

Deidara snuck up on a sleeping Sasori and had a pack of markers. He started drawing on Sasori's face and his arms. He left snickering before Sasori wakes up.

_3 hours later…_

"Deidara, why did you draw on me again!" Sasori roared.

It took awhile to put a clear glass in the middle of the kitchen and dining room. Sakura and Deidara stood on the other side and pretended to talk to each other. Then the Akutsuki came and tried to go to the kitchen. They bumped the glass leaving a smudge. They banged the glass to get through, but couldn't. They tried to talk to the others across it, but the glass was soundproof. Sakura and Deidara just laughed at the others and then they had to hold each other for support.

_Midnight…_

Kakuzu woke up to go to the bathroom. He was rubbing his eyes and then he was about to pee. He looked around and saw a tiger. He ignored it for a second and turned back to the toilet. Realization caught to him and he zipped up his pants and turned around with fear in his eyes. The tiger looked at him and let out a growl. Kakuzu gulped and ran out of the bathroom without forgetting to close the door behind him.

Itachi was just watching Sakura and reading his book. She bolted under the counter then a second later popped up out of the cabinet next to the fridge. Itachi watched her pop out of different places, but then couldn't see her after one disappearance.

"Boo!" someone said next to him and he looked at Sakura startled. "You should have seen your face. Priceless!" Sakura burst out laughing and Itachi did his infamous glare.

Sakura walked around the place while Deidara was snickering at her. She was wearing a kitty costume. She looked so adorable with that on! Finally she found who she was looking for and tackled him.

"Fishy-chan!" Sakura squealed and bit him not to gently on hi shoulder. Kisame yelped in pain and flailed to get away from the crazed kitty.

"Get her off of me!" Kisame pleaded to the others, but they just walked off.

"You taste like fish, fishy-chan!"

"KYA!"

Deidara waited for his victim or victims to come to him.

"Where the hell aer they, yeah," he muttered to himself. That's when they finally came. "Well speak of the devil!"

Deidara sprayed the others with a fire hose. It sent them backward to the wall and they tried to stop the water from hitting them. Deidara laughed manically and kept what he was doing.

"!" the others (Hidan, Zetsu, Sasori, and Konan).

Sakura sat down at the meeting and had a slingshot (**A/N: I did this to my cousin with rocks. She got a bruise on her ankle and it swelled) **and rocks on her laps. The others came and Pein started talking. While he was not noticing, she aimed the rocks at Pein and it him directly on the forehead. She kept hitting him and he had to duck to stop the hits. The others stared at her strangely, except Deidara who was on the ground laughing.

"SAKURA!"

**A/N:**

**I know, I know. It's not like a list. I apologize, but I got in trouble WTH! So yeah please review and thnx for the votes! Now I'm going to go get some cookies to eat! Ja ne!**

**-IINSANEG**


	8. Another notice!

**A/N:**

**I'm sorrie but I'm losing interest and inspiration for both famous stories. I fear it's going to be gone so sorrie for the delay. I need your help to have your ideas in my story. Plz let be funny and thnx! I have like 4 projects due next month n I'm trying to get things done without procastinating. Sorrie! **

**-XxKhmerGirl2o9xX**


	9. art is a bang with cherry blossoms!

**A/N:**

**Hey what's up! I've been busy doing homework and trying to get rid of my ahem.. acne. Yes, the stage of puberty and the worse. Stupid acne so I'm trying to find ways to get rid of it. If you want, help me with it and I'll try to update more! On with the story and thnx to who all reviewed. I love you guys!**

How To Piss Off the Akatsuki

(I spelled it right this time!)

Sakura ran to the living room where Itachi was talking to Kisame. Kisame was sprawled over the couch and Deidara was on the other side waiting for their plan to happen. Sakura dashed to Itachi and 'accidentally' pushed him to Kisame. Their lips connected and you could just hear the loud smack. Deidara made a face of shock and got up.

"I knew you were gay, Itachi, un. All this time I knew it!" Deidara pointed accusingly. Itachi got up and glared his infamous glare.

"I'm not!" Itachi growled out.

"Uh-huh!" Sakura said and Itachi averted his glare to the pinkette.

"You were the one that caused this!"

"Uh…Umm.. Come on Deidara!" Sakura yelled and dragged Deidara.

"SAKURA!"

"I'm going to lock myself in my closet now," Kisame muttered and walked off.

"As it you can fit in it, Shark-fat!" Itachi yelled to Kisame.

Sakura was fixing Konan's hair for awhile. While Konan was spacing out, Sakura immediately started to mess with her hair. Then Sakura made a dash out of the room. Konan sensing that Sakura was not with her grabbed a mirror and looked at herself. She gasped at the sight and angrily stood up.

"Sakura, why did you give me a perm?"

"Not my fault! I thought you would look better with it!"

"I look like a freaking blueberry!"

"What's up with your hair, un?" CRASH!

"I'm not paying that!" Sakura yelled.

Deidara got out a 50 cent coin and was flipping it in the air. Sakura was chewing gum when she took the gum out her mouth, took the coin from midair, and placed the gum on the coin. She put the coin in the middle of the hallway and left.

Kakuzu was silently walking with his money in his hand when he spotted something shiny. He stopped midstep and looked down. His eyes turned into hearts to what he saw. 50 cent coin! Kakuzu bent down and tried to pick up the coin, but it stayed in place. He kept trying to get it, but he miserably failed. It looked like he had a constipated face on.

Kisame was walking by when he saw Kakuzu trying to get the coin. Kisame looked at the coin for a minute and picked it up easily. He put it in his pocket and walked away. Kakuzu watched with a horrified face. "Kisame give me that coin you stealer!"

"Blackjack don't take back, loser!"

Itachi accidentally fell asleep with his door open. Sakura came in with a mask and straddled Itachi's waist. Feeling the extra weight, Itachi cracked an eye open. Sasuke's face with the fake sharingan was in front of him. Itachi accidentally yelled and tackled 'Sasuke'. Itachi held a kunai against 'his' throat.

Itachi activated his sharingan and saw Sakura's chakra. "Sakura, why the hell did you do that!" he demanded. There was a poof and in Sakura's place was a bunny. "SAKURA!"

Deidara snickered as he set his plan to work. Sakura was leaning against the doorframe watching him do what he did. "He is going to be in for a big surprise when he gets back from his mission," Sakura nodded her head.

"Let's go I'm done, un," Deidara replied as he wiped away sweat from his forehead.

1 week later…..

BOOM! SCREECH! CRACKLE! SCREAM!

"Deidara!"

"I'm innocent Sasori no Danna!"

Sakura hid her right hand behind her back. It was cloaked with a kitty paw print. Kisame came in sight and Sakura went up to straight up to Kisame and smacked him. It left a kitty paw with permanent ink.

Meanwhile…

SMACK!

Deidara had smacked Hidan with a puppy paw print glove with blue permanent ink.

"DEIDARA/SAKURA!"

**A/N:**

**Okay I gotta stop right here because I have to do things. (watch clannad) I have to read (fanfiction) and do projects (idk) so review plz!**


	10. Pedosnake and sharks

**A/N:**

**Sup people! Sorry for not updating yesterday, but I was watching movies and thinking about going through a new phase. I'm kinda sick of life a little because it just backstabs me. So on with the story because there is a little surprise for some reviewers that suggested this idea (hint, hint!)**

How To Piss Off the Akatsuki

"Okay, Leader-sama, what did you call us for?" Sakura asked boredly. She was trying to sit down, but the bruises from the last prank didn't go so well, maybe it did, but still!

"Well we got a new recruit well just a renewal person. Come and show yourself!" Pein ordered and then a pale-looking snake person came out. He wore an Akatsuki robe and his eyes looked like he was raping you in his mind. Sakura and the others were shocked to see him hear.

"AHHH! The pedo-snake is back! Run for your lives!" Sakura screamed and ran out of the meeting room. The others anime sweat-dropped at her reaction.

"Well that was uncalled for," Pein answered.

"'Pedo-snake'?,un? That was hilarious!" Deidara burst out laughing and clutched his stomach in pain. Orochimaru, in humiliation, went to sit in an emo corner. Kisame was trying to get something in an air vent.

"Almost got it! Almost…got.. !" Sakura came up from behind and bumped him. His upper body had gotten stuck in the air vent. Sakura immediately took off into some hallway, leaving Kisame flailing like a fish. Itachi passed by and stopped at Kisame. He bent down and nudged Kisame.

"Hey who is that?" Kisame's muffled voice yelled from the air vent.

"Kisame, why are you stuck in the air vent?" Itachi asked in a monotone voice.

"Umm.. well you see I heard something in the airvent and then someone-"

"Nevermind I don't wanna know," Itachi muttered and walked off.

"Itachi? Itaachiii? You there? Someone help me!"

"Man I was going to fucking sacrifice that fucking-" Hidan stopped when Sakura pointed somewhere and he looked at the direction. While he was looking, Sakura bonked him on the head. "Ow! What the fuck was that for?"

"You are annoying the hell out of me," Sakura seethed and she walked away.

"Stupid pink-haired bitch".

"What was that?"

"I said "Stupid-" Sakura hit him and he went through Orochimaru's wall. She looked in and it was filled with pictures of Sasuke. Sakura shuddered and ran off with horrid mental pictures of Orochimaru's room.

"ACHOO!" everyone was sick with the flu, except Sakura and Sasori, and they were bed-ridden.

"Help me! I don't want to get sick," Sasori plead to Sakura. Sakura sighed and fumbled through her bag. She took out meat shaped like beef jerky.

"Eat this, it's called ling-ling," Sakura gave the jerky looking meat to Sasori and he ate it cautiously.

"What is it?"

"I'll give you a hint (I got this from My Wife and Kids) it's from a panda. The panda boy only has one of it".

"A panda- chew chew- boy- chew chew- only one of it- 0_o" Sasori spit out the remaining meat out of his mouth.

"Well at least you're system is going to get stronger," Sakura smiled sheepishly.

"You better run, if you wanna live that is," Sasori had a dark aura around him.

"Eep!" Sakura dashed away, hoping she won't die young.

While everyone was in their room sleeping, Deidara came out and went to the living room with spray paint. He was grinning deviously while cans of spray was used.

_In the morning…_

"!" Pein screamed angrily at the sight. Their on the living room wall was their name is spray paint. It was spelled 'Akutsuki' not 'Akatsuki'. The others came in and gasped at this.

"Who did this?" Pein demanded.

"Tobi did it. He is the retarded one and he can't spell too!" Sakura lied and pointed to Tobi.

"What Tobi is a good boy! Tobi is- AHHH!" Tobi ran off with Pein and the others close behind. Sakura and Deidara was going to do a hi-five, but Deidara missed and whacked her in the face. Her face was turning beet red and she punched him and he smashed in a wall.

"I'm not paying that!" Kakuzu hollered while counting his money.

"Hidan!" Sakura yelled. Hidan walked slowly to Sakura and glared.

"What?"

"Hit the top of my fist," Sakura instructed.

"Can I hit it hard?"

"Yeah," Hidan grinned and hit her fist really hard. By the force, Sakura used the hit to wheel her arm around and hit Hidan's head fast. He fell to the ground unconscious.

"Don't try that again," Sakura said and walked away.

The Akatsuki went to a beach one sunny day. Kisame and the others, except Itachi who was reading, Pein who was watching them, Orochimaru who was chasing kids, and Konan who was sunbathing, were in the water.

"Kisame!"

"Yes, Pinky?"

"I see your wife!"

"What do you mean?" Sakura pointed behind him and he turned around. A great white shark was heading to Kisame fast. "!" Kisame was swimming frantically to shore, but the shark was too fast. The shark bit him and pulled him under. The others watched with amusement at the scene.

"Don't they just make a wonderful couple, un?" Deidara smirked and they snickered.

"!" Kisame was thrown up and onto Itachi. If you looked to the side, they were kissing again.

"See I knew you guys were gay!" Sakura exclaimed.

"Kisame-kun cheated on Kisame-kun's wife!" Tobi yelled and broke into tears. Everyone sweatdropped, except Itachi and Kisame who was gagging.

"SAKURA/DEIDARA!" Itachi and Kisame yelled simultaneously.

**A/N:**

**Some of the ideas were from WheatherKiryn. Hope you like it. I'm going to try to practice doing things and continue my phase. Plz review!**


	11. pictures, a box, and going emo

**A/N:**

**I'm back peoplez! I busy procrastinating about 4 projects and I'm like so freaking out! So I guess I took some ideas from my bestie WheatherKiryn wrote some of my ideas. And she kinda killed me for making fun of Orochimaru. I think I'm still limping lol jk. **

**So like on with the story! XD**

How To Piss Off the Akatsuki

"Leader-sama, I learned a new jutsu!" Sakura hollered in Pein's face.

"Oh really can you show me?" Pein asked. Sakura nodded and she showed the handsigns.

"Oh don't forget to say shut up no jutsu!"

Pein did the correct handsigns then he yelled, "Shut up no jutsu!". There was a poof and nothing happened. Pein tried to talk, but he couldn't.

"HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, PEIN!" Sakura yelled in Pein's face and he was shocked. She walked away with a smirk in his face and Pein couldn't talk for the whole day.

Deidara was snickering in a huge, decorated box. Darkness enveloped his vision and then he heard voices.

"Come on Sasori! I got a surprise for you!"

"You know that I don't like surprises. They're just plain freaky."

"Okay look at it".

"Something tells me something bad is going to happen".

"BOO!" Deidara popped out of a box in a Scream mask and a fake bloody knife. Well the blood was fake, but the knife wasn't.

"!" Sasori screamed and punched Deidara in the face. Deidara flipped on the other side from the punch as Sasori ran off and hid under the bed.

"That didn't go well, un," Deidara groaned in pain.

"It did for me. AHAHAHA!" Sakura burst out laughing and fell to the floor.

"Um can you take out the knife from my stomach, yeah?"

"Idiot and your clumsiness".

"Thanks, yeah!"

"It wasn't a compliment".

"I turned it to one, un," Sakura just anime sweatdropped and she helped Deidara.

Everyone was having small talk in the meeting room, except Orochimaru who was admiring a picture of Sasuke, when Sakura came in with her laptop. Everyone just watched her, except Orochimaru, as she connected her laptop to the screen.

"Okay listen up! You guys have to watch this, I have proof pedo-snake is a pedophile!" the others stared wide eyed at Orochimaru who was shocked and was planning plans to kill Sakura later.

Sakura showed a picture of Orochimaru watching Sasuke sleep. "This is when Sasuke was with Orochimaru and Sasuke was sleeping". Another picture came and it showed Sasuke cornered with a emotionless face, but his eyes held fear. Orochimaru was advancing on him with a sadistic grin.

"This is the possibility if Sasuke killed him," Sakura changed the picture to a chibi Sasuke **(A/N: I just love chibi things! Okay on with the story) **suffocating a snake. Orochimaru gulped and started to sweat.

"That is weird yet true," Kisame commented.

"And last, but not least this," a picture of Orochimaru's room with the walls covered in Sasuke's picture everywhere. One of him not with a shirt, one drinking, one smirking, is that one when he's showering?

"I'm scarred for life from that," Hidan shuddered without cussing. Orochimaru paled at this, wait how can he when he is freaking like a gay pale molester? **(Sorry WheatherKiryn had to ask lol. Don't kill me at school I have to beat Chansoriya into a pulp first!) **The others fainted while half of the rest ran out. Deidara and Sakura just burst out laughing at their sudden reaction and walked out.

After a few days of that incident, Sakura about to killed by Orochimaru, and hiding, Sakura came up to Itachi with a whole different look. She painted her nails black, **(I do that so some people say it's freaky, but it's none of their business. They say it doesn't look good on me , but I don't care!) **highlights of different color, and emo-looking clothes **(I wear dark emo clothes some days too mostly all the time depending)**. Itachi stared at her strangely.

"I can be emo too not just you," Sakura stated monotone.

"I'm not emo".

"Lie".

"I'm not".

"Hn".

"Hn".

"Hn…".

"You can't say that because you're not an Uchiha".

"Hn," and she walked away. Itachi just stared where she was before and said…

"Hn".

**A/N:**

**Again I apologize for it being short. My eyes are juat not working with me right now and yeah. I have nothing against emos because they are awesome! SO plz review!**


	12. Cursing, hitting, and Gaara

**A/N:**

** I'm sorry i havent posted in awhile.. let's just say im lovesick and school got me lagging. So the reason i didnt post for is because I'm losing inspiration... Before i got inspiration from my friends who do retarded things so yeah.. This chapter is only like 3-4 pranks.. Depending so if yhu can give me ideas just review n ill make sure to put it in my story...**

How to Piss Off the Akatsuki

Sakura was creeping sneakily to Hidan. He was cleaning his scythe and wasn't paying attention to his surroundings. He was calmly cleaning his scythe while sitting on a chair with a white cloth. The cloth was heavily soaked with blood from the sacrificing done earlier that morning. Sakura came up next to him-

"MOVE BITCH!" she yelled in a deep voice and pushed him off the chair.

"Damn! You got me stabbed with my own fucking knife you bitch!" Hidan roared. He got up, but was pushed down suddenly by Deidara.

"GET OUT MY WAY BITCH!" Deidara said in a deep angry voice and stormed off.

"OWW! YOU BITCHES! GET BACK HERE!" Hidan now was chasing Sakura and Deidara down..

Deidara was crouching low and running with arms like a helicopter. Once he saw his victim he ran to him and started twirling uncontrollably."I'm losing control! I'm about to crash! AHH!" Deidara said as when he turned his hand hit his target's, Sasori, in his you-know-what place.

"Ow.." Sasori groaned and doubled over in pain.. Deidara just stared at his partner on the ground and resumed doing what he was doing. Tobi was walking by and started poking Sasori.

Poke...

Twitch..

Poke..Poke..

Twitch..

Poke...

Glare.. Smack!

"OW! Deidara-sempai! Sasori hit Tobi!" Tobi bawled out in a childish manner.

"Shut up you fool!" Sasori hit him with a brick and Tobi was unconscious on the ground.

"Deidara what are you doing? This will never work!" a female voice hissed at the blonde.

"Yeah it will if it goes right, yeah. And one more thing.. yeah" Deidara whispered.

"What?"

"Shut up, yeah!"

"That's just mean"

"Sorry," pokes Sakura in her abnormally large forehead. There was a batch of chocolate chip cookies on the counter and suddenly Itachi walked in. He saw the cookies and dove to it. Suddenly there was a poof and Gaara was here!

"Get away from my cookies!" Gaara roared and tackled Itachi. Gaara collided with Itachi and they were both fighting for teh cookies.

"Was Gaara in the plan?" Sakura asked.

"Uhh no..un" Deidara watched with confusion. Tobi walked in, but he skipped to the cookies and started eating them. Gaara and Itachi didn't notice until they both stopped as Tobi was in mid-bite of the last cookie.

"My cookies," they growled in a demonic aura.

"Umm... Itachi want this?" Tobi asked nervously. Now they were chasing Tobi throughout the headquarters.

**The End**

**A/N:**

** Okay I know this was short, but I apologize.. Things in my life is confusing right now so yeah.. Please review and give me some ideas!**


	13. the end!

**A/N:**

** Okay I got some ideas from shows and my awesome reviewers (you know who you are thnx!). So Like yeah I'll try to post more. I've been reading, sleeping, not eating(not anorexic) and yeah.**

Sasori was trying to make a new puppet for battle. Sakura had asked to assist him anytime. "Sakura?" Sasori asked while not looking up.

"Yeah?"

"The hammer?"

"ALRIGHT YEAH!" Sasori turned to see Sakura doing the MC Hammer dance. The song had magically played as she started dancing. Sasori's face was like this '0_o'. Then his door burst open and Deidara came in.

"That's not how you do it yeah!" Deidara yelled. Sakura stopped dancing and glared at the life-sized barbie.

"Oh yeah? Lemme see you do better!" Sakura growled. The pinkette and blonde had forgotten about Sasori. Deidara push Sakura out of the way and the music played. He started dancing and then Sakura joined in. Sasori's left eye was twitching now and he had gotten impatient.

"GET OUT!" Sasori yelled and threw Sakura and Deidara out of the room. They were leaning against the wall while Sakura had ended up feet against the wall and laying down.

"I was still better than you, un".

The Akatsuki were at the zoo because they wanted to have a day together, mostly because Sakura dragged them. They were close to the monkey exhibit and wanted to take pictures. Sakura and Kakuzu were posing, well only Sakura because Kakuzu was scowling, while Sakura started wiping peanut butter onto Kakuzu's jacket. The peanut butter somehow was with her okay. So when they were going to take the picture a monkey came from behing Kakuzu and started hitting him.

The monkey hated Kakuzu and it liked peanut butter. (A/N: just play along I don't know much about monkeys except my friend). Kakuzu was trying all his might to get away from the monkey and Sakura was laughing and pointing. Tobi was taking the pictures, pic after pic, each one showing the others laughing as Kakuzu was being hit. Then an ape came and started shaking Kakuzu. Then they went back and they got the pics ready.

Deidara and Sakura was cooking some soup and was done and they were setting the bowls on the dining table. The smell led the others to the dining table and they started eating.

"This is good,pinky. What is it?" Kisame asked.

"Well, Fishy, it is shark fin soup. Like it?" Sakura smirked and snickered as the color of kisame's face paled. He screamed and started running around in a circle until Itachi hit him with a pan, knocking him unconscious.

"Is it really shark fin soup?" Orochimaru (A/N: I didn't forget him!) asked warily.

"Nah it's actually blue soup," Deidara stated bluntly and the others sweatdropped.

Later on in the meal and a ton of convincing to Kisame after he woke up...

"Orochimaru?" Sakura asked.

"..?"

"Why did you give Sasuke a hickey?" all the Akatsuki spat out their soup on each other.

"It's not a hickey, it's a curse mark".

"Then why did you bit his neck when you could have possibly bit somewhere else?"

"Well.. I-uh... you see-"

"Yes Orochimaru. Why did you bite my foolish little brother on the neck?" Itachi asked with his sharigan blazing madly.

"Uh- i.. Umm..-"

"PEDOPHILE!" Sakura and Deidara screamed and threw their soup and everything to pedo-snake. Accidentally, Sakura threw Tobi.

"Yay! Tobi's flying like little birdie!" Tobi was flailing his arms and legs, but then he collided with pedo-snake.

Deidara and Sakura were popping out of nowhere. Itachi was reading when Sakura came up next to him and poked him, giggling like a school girl. He turned and glared at her. Sasori was staring at the wall when Deidara came next to him and started poking him. He giggled like a little girl and Sasori twitched. Sakura and Deidara poked Hidan on each cheek and giggled.

"What the Hell? Ima kill you!" that's when the chase began while they poked people while running.

**The End..(Or is it 0_o)**

**A/N: Okay I know this is a last chapter.. I'm sorry, but I gotta finish my other story and make new stories. So yeah review please or no continuing other story!**


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